The Aquinas Protocol

And thus we have marked the centipost of this illustrious and widely acclaimed journal. What will I do to celebrate and justly honor such a bodacious accomplishment? I will, with mirth and great jubilance (of course), recount to you just how much my life sucks balls.

What do I do for a day? Assuming my day begins at the toll of midnight, just as all days have started since time immemorial (well, at least since they had clocks lol) then my day occurs in the following manner. As the bell tolls, I am still finishing my homework, most likely due the following day. As 2 o'clock rolls around the assignment is finished, I turn it in and I begin to unwind. Let's say this happens for an hour and then I leave the new floorpile. Scratch that, reverse it. I sleep for a few hours, namely five, and then I awake for animation class. However, first I may shower and eat a bowl of cereal. After an hour of that I go back to sleep, completely forgetting to go the animation class for which I awoke! What droll irony! Around one o'clock I awaken once again to the sound of that goddamn fucking alarm clock fucking beeping noise and I want to freakin' shoot it in the fucking eye. But, alas! It has no eye for shooting! So instead I get up and eat some type of food for lunch. Like, you know, frozen pizza or some shit. Here, I may also take a shower because showering is one of the few joys I have left in life. Then it's off to this weird thing where I throw a ball down a lane and hit pins. Just kidding! Actually, I go bowling about this time. After bowling (or sometimes it's a meeting about privacy and security on the internet), I go to a class where I am privy to hear grand tales about magicians turning their cars into their driveways or very comfortable chairs. Then I think about that alarm clock and how I am sorry I wanted to kill it. Following this wild thought, I return to my abode and relax for an hour or two before I cook myself dinner. After I cook dinner, I eat it! "What does this wonderful gentlemen of good taste and stature cook and eat for his dinner?" you might ask! The answers lie ahead, gravid with their gentle sumptuosities. Imagine, if you will, scrumptious mountains of rice drenched in cheeses beyond thought alongside grilled fowl seasoned in tomtatos, basils, peppers, and savory lemon juices. Or, on a better night, roasted venison tickled with marinades of onions and peppers, garlics and gravies paired with roasted, toasted, mashed and smashed potatoes infused with garlics, butters, and more. And with each dish, a wonderful helping of even more garlic. Because I have gotta stay healthy somehow :) . After dinner and a wash of the plates, my good comrade Dave and I head to the links. Then I calculate my age, because by this time of day I have forgotten what it is! After all of this, it is time to sit down and begin my daily homework. The clock says seven and my mind says heaven. Because I just love doing homework. And then I do it until 2 o'clock the next day, but oh! I have overstepped my day by two hours so rewind your mind and we will end as the clock strikes midnight once again.

And with slight variation you have just spent a day with the great, the late, Adam Fiske. Not because I am dead, but because I am so late to class right now my professor's gonna kill me. Shit. Until next time, keep remembering that I am NOT an alien and send me attractive, intelligent women who have great personalities in the mail. Yes that's right, their personalities MUST be in the mail.