So, do people even read this thing anymore? I mean, seriously. If anybody does, they should post CRAZY comments all the time. All the fucking time. I'm sure my blog isn't actually a popular hit, because it's not very interesting, for the most part. I don't write what I do, I don't write how I do, I don't write where I do, or any of that stuff. I don't make fun of people, don't talk about hating people. Only sometimes about hating what people do.

NP - Blind Guardian - Punishment Divine.

I plan to make this entry long enough to tell you at least three songs I have on my playlist. Don't worry, it's on random, so you won't just get three Blind Guardian songs. I am on my brand new computer right now, it's awful cool. It's got an LCD monitor, which is cool, because my desk is goddamn small. Although, the clarity isn't as wonderful as one of those huge monsters that most people have. It's a little splotchy. Basically, its like a laptop screen, only it doesn't go way out of color when you look at it from an odd angle. My computer has a DVD player, and I got one of the new ASUS GeForce FX 5800 cards for super resolutions and to make sure I will be able to play games such as Half-Life 2, Deus Ex 2, Doom 3, etc. Everything's a damn sequel. When will they make another original game that's actually good? Anyway, the card has a TV out, so that's good, I can just watch DVDs on the tele. I have a wireless mouse/keyboard setup, and a surround sound system, but it picks up the movements of the mouse and stuff sometimes and you can hear the crackling on the speakers often. It's not too bad though. Pretty nice setup. I still have an actual audigy card coming in the mail sometime soon, though. I'm just running through the intergrated sound thing on the motherboard right now, which isn't that great.

NP - Dream Theatre - 6:00

[ignore all this]Oh, that reminds me, I would like to know if the Dream Theatre ticket orderers ordered a ticket for Doug, because he's not going. And if you ordered a ticket for him, he said I could have it. I'll pay for it, no problem. However, he made it sound like he didn't think you ordered him one, because he said he couldn't go. But Josh said that he thought that they did order him one, but wasn't going. But Josh wasn't in charge of the tickets, so I'm assuming either Carlton or Tyler were in charge, so I need to find out from one of them. With my luck, I probably won't be getting a ticket, but I'd really love to go.[/I'm not going]

First day of my job with Tom today. It's a pretty good job, I don't have to deal with people, we work at our own pace, don't have any bosses or anything yelling at us. The guy, George, that works above us, seems pretty cool. He says we just need to get ourselves a copy of the key, and then we can work, whenever. We just wash boats and such, keep stuff clean. I'm sure by the end of the summer, we'll be way ahead of schedule. He said we caught up 5 weeks of work just today. So that's pretty great. Tom isn't sure if he likes the job yet. He wasn't expecting hard labor, or something, he said. It's really not that bad. Eight dollars an hour (I think). It'll be a good summer job.

NP - Refused - The Refused Party Programme

Man, I love Refused. You know who has really good lyrics? Hopesfall. I was just reading a bunch of them last night. I never really read their lyrics before, but they're really good. Check this out:

lies i've deceived myself in this hour of solitude... through the breaking of love and spirit these words were spit from my mouth the bitterness poured from deep within my heart only to stain and harden my skin erasing the compassion... and ripping the joy from inside of me... let me go trying to rid myself of this frame. wash it from my eyes all the sad goodbyes make me feel again leave me here to reconcile these unfinished plans... love broke me trials are in vain i press on not knowing what there is to gain in all that i've failed, i have come to realize Your truth shines through the pain

Also, I really like the Bright Eyes lyrics off of Fevers and Mirrors. I want to buy that cd so badly. I need to get to a cd store quickly. I also want Converge - Petitioning and Empty Sky, and Muse - The Origin of Symmetry. Bright Eyes lyrics:

At the center of the world there is a statue of a girl. She is standing near a well with a bucket bare and dry. I went and looked her in the eyes and she turned me into sand. This clumsy form that I despise scattered easy in her hand. And it came to rest upon a beach, with a million others there. We sat and waited for the sea to stretch out so that we could disappear into the endlessness of blue, into the horror of the truth. We are far less than we knew. Yes, we are far less than we knew but we knew what we could taste. Girls found honey to drench our hands. Men cut marble to mark our graves. Saying that we will need something to remind us of all the sweetness that has passed through us (fresh sangria and lemon tea). The priests dressed children for a choir (white-robed small voices praise Him) but found no joy in what was sung. The funeral had begun in the middle of the day when you drive home to your place from that job that makes you sleep back to the thoughts that keep you awake long after night has come to claim any light that still remains in the corner of the frame that you put around her face. Two pills just weren’t’ enough. The alarm clock is going off but you are not waking up. This isn’t happening. It is.

NP - Odd Project - Je t'Adore.

That one's for you.

NP - Echo and the Bunnymen - Nothing Lasts Forever

"All the shadows and the pain are coming to you."

Coupla songs I wrote.

Paint the World
I think of you and paint a scene. Pastel dreams, pastel scenes. The world seems emptier to me. Without your face, without your taste. The wind, your hair, I remember. Reddened skies, hurtful good-byes. The sand, your toes, remains forever. I can't forget. Dream an easier life, burn your truths to the ground. Lie amongst the flowers, paint the world a different sound. These roads, they're barren, a dreary place. What of you? What was true? Wishing only to see your face. Sky turns black, I turn back. A stream is boasting a brand new idea. Your gentle eyes, your gentle lies. The water flows into your hair. I can't forget.


Our Perfect Romance
Sweet tragedy, the pillars fall. Your lips like wine, my own enthralled. The burning sea casts a furtive glance. The sand burns to glass, your eyes watch it dance. This is our decoy. We hide behind the moon. Your image fades too soon. This is our decoy, too perfect to believe. The last star fades as we leave. Hidden from view, our hopeful glow entwines us in a somnambulant show. Deceiving the sky, two minds become entranced. No one else can see us, in our perfect romance.

Like a Lost Cancer
Shrouded in dust, we steal the night into the future. Grinning at the sky, like cats, we puzzle the nocturnal air. The horizon is a sweet line of light, designed by motion. Destroyed by spite, the moon sinks into the ocean. We became a part of the moment, apart from the romance. Harbored by our senses, we thanked the sky and melted away. The flowing waves, full of deceit, savored and gave their memories to me. Profound and weathered, the water fills my lungs. With lips like an angel, and eyes like a demon, the sweet flavor enraptures my tongue. Downcast, the fire erases the day. The night, like a tyger, encases decay.

Now I've become distant in relations. I lost my job, before it even begun. I don't have a car. I can't see people I would like to. I sit at home, AND CRY.
Or do I? We went to the "recording studio" today, to set up dates. You should do back-up vocals on our cd. It would be most awesome. My thoughts are sporatic. Sometimes, I wish I didn't need to do things. I wish I could just go where I want, and be with the people I care about. But rules apply. And they cannot be broken. But they can be bent. I wish I wasn't such an acquiescent person. I wish I had more of an initiative to do things. And not care about what other people want. But I do. I am too nice. I want to please people all the time. Fear is an instrument of discipline. And that shouldn't be the way it is. I, of all people, should not be held back by it. I don't do bad things. Why must I be tethered?

It's not that I don't understand what people are saying when they are profound in their blogs. It's just that it annoys me. It makes me feel as though they think they are somehow showing that they are better than people. That only those who can, in fact, understand what they are conveying are allowed to know what they are feeling. I can understand that some people may like it this way, to make themselves feel more secure, if subconcsiously, about putting their feelings on display. And maybe I just can't understand this. Because I haven't experienced it. I haven't experienced a harder life than my own. I do not have as many obstacles or problems in my life as other people. I can understand that they'd want security. I just don't fully understand the circumstances as to why.

The above 'graph is not directed to a single one person, as YOU ALL might think.
ALL of you that read my blog.
Which I know is a HUGE number.
Probably bigger than four!
Can you believe it?

NP - NOTHING. It's too late. Or I just don't feel like it.

EDIT: Typos are not my friend.

I hate blogs where people try to sound, or do indeed sound deep or profound. It just bothers me. I don't hate the people. Just the blogs.
Man.... sometime I should write like that in my blogs. So no one really knows what I'm talking about.