A cyanide-laced love letter delivered with a smile.
A broken display of hope, a valiant effort all the while.
Tears drowning razorblades again, the dead scent of my heart burns the eyes and throat of this abject work of art.
I can't remember the last time you listened to my dreams, but I will continue to soar above the screams.
Piercing blood through my hands, saving each drop for you.
I'd take a million more shots, just to make it true.
I can hear the aching inside your voice.
I can see you're shaking, inside you've lost.
This crystal lattice of razorwire tears through my clouded vision, like novocaine it numbs my senses.
My blinded eyes and deafened ears still know you're here, and my fractured heart bleeds cinders.
I now have the strength to finally open my eyes, I'm safe in this suicide.
I feel the sweet surrender of the truth, can't you?
I'd never say good-bye forever to save my life.
I'm dying inside.

Blueprint for a White Dwarf (man, I should name my blog that)

As I wrote down these wooden, empty words, I thought of what yesterday really meant, shattered my heart. And I took a broken mirror, cleaned the shards, polished the grain, and set it beside me, while writing. But nobody stared back, not even my reflection in the wood. You would have seen my anguish, you would have sat beside me, stared back, kissed my melting smile. I watched the stars tonight, my dear, the one we named Blind. He traveled backwards across the sky, shattered my heart. He could not see his way, and he died as he crashed into his father, and I screamed "why?" But nobody answered, not even the whispering of the wind. You would have heard my anguish, you would have silently answered, kissed my melting smile. This pen, it gets heavier each time I try to let go. This paper, it tears more each time I try to write a word. The loneliness of days, the pointlessness of speech, the forgetfulness of thought, I crumble as I try to end this and leave. Oh, I would do it all again. Wouldn't I?

Who the fuck reads my journal that matters?

Odd Project is the best band you will ever hear. Assuming you'll listen to them.


black lines where your eyes used to shine. cross our hearts, we're sippin' shots of cyanide. kiss my lips and taste this, this suicide. we sleep with the enemy and kill what we love. cursed with the gift of beauty. you weild it like its... a loaded gun. so lets burn our bridges before they're built. never say "i love you" till blood is spilt.
choke on my name... as you whisper. can you taste the blood on your lips as the syllables slit your throat.

you say that im everything that you want...well im everything that you hate, and it goes unsaid.
the way you whispered, you lied. you always lie to me again.

with these broken windows and these tear stained lies i wont be sleeping alone tonight.
but we tried... we tried so hard...

so explain this time with the barrel of a gun down your fucking throat.
i said i loved you, but now you make me choke on my words.


I haven't even heard that song, but I know I will love it because the lyrics are fucking awesome. Oh, and it's by fucking Odd Project.

Listen to "A Hero's Trial." You'll believe me.