[Fingers:] 1-900-USA-NAILS
[Prisoner:] "operator I love you.
Operator, I would never leave you...
Operator I love to see your face pressed up against the glass.
I need to hear the way your tongue tastes in my ear..."

[Operator:] "Put the receiver to your chest
and let me know who loves you best."

[Prisoner:] "The county sheriff said that my baby is dead.
They found him in some trash can, blue all clenched and chewed.
Don't judge me, I'm not his real mother,
I couldn't even recognize his face, his tears of wax,
his skin like a subway running over spinal tracks.
Operator can I confide you?
They haven't got an ounce of proof!
Those pigs locked me up to see what color i'd rot into!
(It wasn't me it was my false tiger limbs..
It wasn't me it was the garbage gryphon!)
When i walk i wald alone (operator come on!),
when I watch you through the phone (operator come on)
and depupil these lonely eyes,
the love scenes grafted to the sky are making me cry...
1-900-USA-NAILS (oh baby)
I get one phone call a day from Molson County jail...

[Operator:] 1-900-USA-NAILS.
98 cents per minute cash or credit, check or debit...

[noticeable pause]

[Prisoner:] Operator-rator wont you tell me again!
Operator-rator yeah you're my only friend!

[Operator:] "Do you remember that night in the back of daddy's car...
strumming the chords of your pubic guitar...
the way you tasted like a movie star...
the way the windsheild reflected the sunrise,
the way the light tattooed your thighs...
You're the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world...
your time is up, till next time! We'll send you a bill."

[Prisoner:] Listen....
can you hear the buildings crumbling in slow motion?
Blow me up like a baloon we'll float over the ocean!
Listen...can you hear them taking me away,
don't tell the fucking guards what i've said.
Can you see the angels stringing wires through my face?

[Operator:] Meet me next week, same time, same place.

Thing in the corner with what song is playing in winamp! How cool?

A cyanide-laced love letter delivered with a smile.
A broken display of hope, a valiant effort all the while.
Tears drowning razorblades again, the dead scent of my heart burns the eyes and throat of this abject work of art.
I can't remember the last time you listened to my dreams, but I will continue to soar above the screams.
Piercing blood through my hands, saving each drop for you.
I'd take a million more shots, just to make it true.
I can hear the aching inside your voice.
I can see you're shaking, inside you've lost.
This crystal lattice of razorwire tears through my clouded vision, like novocaine it numbs my senses.
My blinded eyes and deafened ears still know you're here, and my fractured heart bleeds cinders.
I now have the strength to finally open my eyes, I'm safe in this suicide.
I feel the sweet surrender of the truth, can't you?
I'd never say good-bye forever to save my life.
I'm dying inside.

Blueprint for a White Dwarf (man, I should name my blog that)

As I wrote down these wooden, empty words, I thought of what yesterday really meant, shattered my heart. And I took a broken mirror, cleaned the shards, polished the grain, and set it beside me, while writing. But nobody stared back, not even my reflection in the wood. You would have seen my anguish, you would have sat beside me, stared back, kissed my melting smile. I watched the stars tonight, my dear, the one we named Blind. He traveled backwards across the sky, shattered my heart. He could not see his way, and he died as he crashed into his father, and I screamed "why?" But nobody answered, not even the whispering of the wind. You would have heard my anguish, you would have silently answered, kissed my melting smile. This pen, it gets heavier each time I try to let go. This paper, it tears more each time I try to write a word. The loneliness of days, the pointlessness of speech, the forgetfulness of thought, I crumble as I try to end this and leave. Oh, I would do it all again. Wouldn't I?

Who the fuck reads my journal that matters?