Today has been very productive. I wrote seven essays, ate four bacon strips and did some other stuff. Just kidding. If you believed that then you are officially the stupidest fucking dork on the planet Earth. I actually skipped all my classes today, slept till noon, and then sat around the rest of the day complaining, coughing, sneezing, popping pills, listening to music, waiting for people to tell me how awesome I am so I can develop the largest ego this world has ever seen. Want to see a picture? That was a rhetorical question. You're going to see one whether you like it or not. If it was a choice, I would make a link to the picture rather than embeddeding it in my weblog here. Here is it:



I totally want that game. I went to the mall the other day to order it. And I was wearing Mardi Gras beads, and everyone tried making fun of them. Like all the employees at stores. But it didn't work. Cuz I just turned it right back 'round in THEIR FACES!! (almost told them they were anal beads. But I didn't. They wouldn't have known what to say to that.

Also, we have finals this week. Or should I say it is our final week? This term. Yeah. I mean, no, I shouldn't say that. I have all my finals on thursday. All three of them. That's mad chill. John says Justin's puppy is mad double dirty chill. That I have got to see. I was just thinking about showing you one more picture, then telling you that I'm totally out of here.



I'm totally out of here.

Check this out.

It's about time for an update. Right? Email me if you don't think so at adamfisk@wpi.edu .

You're listening to "Manos: The Hands of Fate."

Anyway. College has been quite a blast. I can't think straight most of the time. It's been really hard to do well in anything. Everytime I try to do well I only end up fucking things up. Biotch. I'll fuck you up. Anyways, I was just lying about the not doing well and not being able to think straight. It's actually a lot easier to think straight than you might have thought. I do like the occasional not thinking right break. Oh man. Check out this out.



You see that? That's me getting a fucking 8-ball kicked into my chin. Who knows why we took a picture of that. But we did. And it hurt. Getting the ball kicked into my chin, not getting the picture taken. I lost four teeth. Just kidding about that.

Just a reminder, you're listening to "Manos: The Hands of Fate."

I just ate dinner, no more than 2 minutes ago. Just kidding. It was more like a half hour ago. I had beef strips with a sauce and seasoned fries and coleslaw. Sounds good doesn't it? Well, it wasn't. I should have eaten a human face. It would have tasted better. Probably. I had a dream last night. It was nice. I won't tell you what it was about, because a certain someone might read this thing and take it the wrong way and then things would get wholly fucked up. I mean HOLY. Speaking of Holy, I saw the Matrix: Part III, the other week and it was, without a doubt, very boring. So we are going to take the two latest Matrices and combine them into one good decent 2-3 hour moving picture. Believe you me when I say I am a machine. When it comes to that kind of a thing. Editing movies, that is.

Carlton just walked in and doesn't know what he's talking about. I wrote a smooth song the otha day. It was so smooth I couldn't believe it.

tCGt is playing a fucking SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! December 5th at the Chariho High School Battle of the bands.

Just a reminder, you're listening to "Manos: The Hands of Fate."

I just finished up my first term of doom. I mean college. And Doom. Eternal Doom is the hardest Doom I have ever played. I'm only on level something-or-other, and I've been play for an undisclosed amount of time. So, we have our big projector. It projecters very well. Um..... I am so awesome.

Other things. I am going home from, oh, saturday until thursday. Yeah. And I'm going to see people I haven't seen. EVER. That's what scares me. Also, I am so awesome.

In other news, OP got signed to IR and are going to record with KE. OPIRKE! what a cool sounding word.

Ross is also totally awesome.

This is my update.
This is the real.
This is the shame.

So, we got this sweet ass crib up here at the W PIZZ I. It's like "what... the fuck!" And our room is like ten times bigger than probably everyone else's rooms combined. That's how big it is. Plus, we have an industrial size movie theatre screen. It kicks so much goddamn ass. PLUS!!! I went to classes today and stuff. I am so fucking smart. I am in the hardest classes out of everybody here, and I am doing better than anyone else in all of them. Beat that. You can't! You can't beat that with a stick! Or an amazing deal!

If the first thing they teach you at the academy is to look at the scene, that's what we're doing. EVERYONE here loves to play Dungeons & Dragons. I like that. No wait, I don't really. You can always here them talking about their "half dire-bear, half sun-elf" creations and their attack points and HP. They been creating characters for like 2 months! and they haven't even finished. That is NOOOO exagerration. I can't really spell, you know. I just fake it. Sometimes I fake it like this, sometimes it's like that.

So, we had this party tonight with our Veni. She got us some awesome chinese food, and my fortune cookie told me to do whatever it was I wanted to do in bed after I am too old to do it. That doesn't make any sense. Then we played a game about though provoking questions. The answers involved such answers as "life," "my dormroom," and "cannibalism."

G.

Money.

No, this part of my blog is NOT fake, it's real.
In being like Josh, I am posting several bands on mp3.com that I have found and liked. However, my reviews may not be as cool as Josh's. Excellent bands are in bold. Almost excellent are in italics. You should definitely check out the bands in both of these categories.

Odd Project - My favorite band. Not that I found on mp3.com, but my actual favorite band. They're melodic metalcore with some really catchy vocal melodies. Amazing stuff. Production is top notch for an unsigned band. UNSIGNED, and they're this good. 10/10

The Prisoner's Dilemma Pretty good band. Probably best to call them emocore. Melodic singing with hardcore backups, a la Open Hand or Thursday, perhaps. I don't think I'd go out of my way to see them though. Pretty generic. Production quality is good. 6/10

Crestfallen I like these guys. They're in between the previous two bands in their style. More singing that Odd Project, yet much heavier than The Prisoner's Dilemma. I like them, and have in fact burned them onto cds. The singing is a bit flat sometimes, but its pretty good. 8/10

They Came Burning Excellent band. I just found them today, and man are they great. Just give them a listen if you don't believe me. Extremely heavy, with extremely melodic breakdowns. Wow. 9/10

One Dying Wish Although bands with poor production quality usually turn me off, this one is a little exception. They would be extremely great with better production. They are sort of like a much heavier version of Thrice mixed with something else... maybe Atreyu? No... more like A Static Lullaby. Yeah, they sound kind of like them, but better. With good production they would be getting a higher score. 7/10

Not Quite Bernadette Another surprise. Listing their similar bands as Thursday and Taking Back Sunday, I was prepared for another dismissal. However, they quite surprised me. The production is good, the singing is good, the guitar work is pretty catchy, not to complicated or anything. The beginning of their first song "Results, Not Causes" was surprising with very melodic singing over dissonant hardcore guitars. 8/10

Above This Fire Now for the more hardcore bands. These guys definitely fall into this category. Very very good band. Very heavy, very awesome. 9/11

Your Last Breath Man, I just keep on finding good bands. I could be here for days. Very heavy. The Production quality has a bit of a hollow sound to it, probably too much reverb on certain things, but it's still good. 8/10

As I Lay Dying WOW. Everybody will likes this. Extremely heavy, extremely hardcore, extremely metal. The intro riff on their first song was great. The whole song is great. 10/10

It Dies Today Damn. All I did was type in Bleeding Through as a similar band, and now all the bands I click on are amazing. Excellent gutairs, excellent vocals. 10/10.

Alright, after those last two bands being absolutely amazing, I have decided to stop.
EDIT HASTE Another 10/10

Hey juys! You best be eatin a whole mess of fluffy puff....

ah, who am I kidding? College fucking sucks. I hate all my classes. My roommate's a big jerk. Damn. I wish I was dead. The following song explains my feelings at the current time:

Spring has come
Worms are showing their faces
Little birds are eating them.

Spring has come
Children are going to school
Farm dogs are giving birth to puppies.

Spring has come
Women are looking in mirrors
Egg pies are baking.

Yeah, that about sums up my fucking life.

[Fingers:] 1-900-USA-NAILS
[Prisoner:] "operator I love you.
Operator, I would never leave you...
Operator I love to see your face pressed up against the glass.
I need to hear the way your tongue tastes in my ear..."

[Operator:] "Put the receiver to your chest
and let me know who loves you best."

[Prisoner:] "The county sheriff said that my baby is dead.
They found him in some trash can, blue all clenched and chewed.
Don't judge me, I'm not his real mother,
I couldn't even recognize his face, his tears of wax,
his skin like a subway running over spinal tracks.
Operator can I confide you?
They haven't got an ounce of proof!
Those pigs locked me up to see what color i'd rot into!
(It wasn't me it was my false tiger limbs..
It wasn't me it was the garbage gryphon!)
When i walk i wald alone (operator come on!),
when I watch you through the phone (operator come on)
and depupil these lonely eyes,
the love scenes grafted to the sky are making me cry...
1-900-USA-NAILS (oh baby)
I get one phone call a day from Molson County jail...

[Operator:] 1-900-USA-NAILS.
98 cents per minute cash or credit, check or debit...

[noticeable pause]

[Prisoner:] Operator-rator wont you tell me again!
Operator-rator yeah you're my only friend!

[Operator:] "Do you remember that night in the back of daddy's car...
strumming the chords of your pubic guitar...
the way you tasted like a movie star...
the way the windsheild reflected the sunrise,
the way the light tattooed your thighs...
You're the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world...
your time is up, till next time! We'll send you a bill."

[Prisoner:] Listen....
can you hear the buildings crumbling in slow motion?
Blow me up like a baloon we'll float over the ocean!
Listen...can you hear them taking me away,
don't tell the fucking guards what i've said.
Can you see the angels stringing wires through my face?

[Operator:] Meet me next week, same time, same place.

Thing in the corner with what song is playing in winamp! How cool?

A cyanide-laced love letter delivered with a smile.
A broken display of hope, a valiant effort all the while.
Tears drowning razorblades again, the dead scent of my heart burns the eyes and throat of this abject work of art.
I can't remember the last time you listened to my dreams, but I will continue to soar above the screams.
Piercing blood through my hands, saving each drop for you.
I'd take a million more shots, just to make it true.
I can hear the aching inside your voice.
I can see you're shaking, inside you've lost.
This crystal lattice of razorwire tears through my clouded vision, like novocaine it numbs my senses.
My blinded eyes and deafened ears still know you're here, and my fractured heart bleeds cinders.
I now have the strength to finally open my eyes, I'm safe in this suicide.
I feel the sweet surrender of the truth, can't you?
I'd never say good-bye forever to save my life.
I'm dying inside.

Blueprint for a White Dwarf (man, I should name my blog that)

As I wrote down these wooden, empty words, I thought of what yesterday really meant, shattered my heart. And I took a broken mirror, cleaned the shards, polished the grain, and set it beside me, while writing. But nobody stared back, not even my reflection in the wood. You would have seen my anguish, you would have sat beside me, stared back, kissed my melting smile. I watched the stars tonight, my dear, the one we named Blind. He traveled backwards across the sky, shattered my heart. He could not see his way, and he died as he crashed into his father, and I screamed "why?" But nobody answered, not even the whispering of the wind. You would have heard my anguish, you would have silently answered, kissed my melting smile. This pen, it gets heavier each time I try to let go. This paper, it tears more each time I try to write a word. The loneliness of days, the pointlessness of speech, the forgetfulness of thought, I crumble as I try to end this and leave. Oh, I would do it all again. Wouldn't I?

Who the fuck reads my journal that matters?

Odd Project is the best band you will ever hear. Assuming you'll listen to them.


black lines where your eyes used to shine. cross our hearts, we're sippin' shots of cyanide. kiss my lips and taste this, this suicide. we sleep with the enemy and kill what we love. cursed with the gift of beauty. you weild it like its... a loaded gun. so lets burn our bridges before they're built. never say "i love you" till blood is spilt.
choke on my name... as you whisper. can you taste the blood on your lips as the syllables slit your throat.

you say that im everything that you want...well im everything that you hate, and it goes unsaid.
the way you whispered, you lied. you always lie to me again.

with these broken windows and these tear stained lies i wont be sleeping alone tonight.
but we tried... we tried so hard...

so explain this time with the barrel of a gun down your fucking throat.
i said i loved you, but now you make me choke on my words.


I haven't even heard that song, but I know I will love it because the lyrics are fucking awesome. Oh, and it's by fucking Odd Project.

Listen to "A Hero's Trial." You'll believe me.

So, do people even read this thing anymore? I mean, seriously. If anybody does, they should post CRAZY comments all the time. All the fucking time. I'm sure my blog isn't actually a popular hit, because it's not very interesting, for the most part. I don't write what I do, I don't write how I do, I don't write where I do, or any of that stuff. I don't make fun of people, don't talk about hating people. Only sometimes about hating what people do.

NP - Blind Guardian - Punishment Divine.

I plan to make this entry long enough to tell you at least three songs I have on my playlist. Don't worry, it's on random, so you won't just get three Blind Guardian songs. I am on my brand new computer right now, it's awful cool. It's got an LCD monitor, which is cool, because my desk is goddamn small. Although, the clarity isn't as wonderful as one of those huge monsters that most people have. It's a little splotchy. Basically, its like a laptop screen, only it doesn't go way out of color when you look at it from an odd angle. My computer has a DVD player, and I got one of the new ASUS GeForce FX 5800 cards for super resolutions and to make sure I will be able to play games such as Half-Life 2, Deus Ex 2, Doom 3, etc. Everything's a damn sequel. When will they make another original game that's actually good? Anyway, the card has a TV out, so that's good, I can just watch DVDs on the tele. I have a wireless mouse/keyboard setup, and a surround sound system, but it picks up the movements of the mouse and stuff sometimes and you can hear the crackling on the speakers often. It's not too bad though. Pretty nice setup. I still have an actual audigy card coming in the mail sometime soon, though. I'm just running through the intergrated sound thing on the motherboard right now, which isn't that great.

NP - Dream Theatre - 6:00

[ignore all this]Oh, that reminds me, I would like to know if the Dream Theatre ticket orderers ordered a ticket for Doug, because he's not going. And if you ordered a ticket for him, he said I could have it. I'll pay for it, no problem. However, he made it sound like he didn't think you ordered him one, because he said he couldn't go. But Josh said that he thought that they did order him one, but wasn't going. But Josh wasn't in charge of the tickets, so I'm assuming either Carlton or Tyler were in charge, so I need to find out from one of them. With my luck, I probably won't be getting a ticket, but I'd really love to go.[/I'm not going]

First day of my job with Tom today. It's a pretty good job, I don't have to deal with people, we work at our own pace, don't have any bosses or anything yelling at us. The guy, George, that works above us, seems pretty cool. He says we just need to get ourselves a copy of the key, and then we can work, whenever. We just wash boats and such, keep stuff clean. I'm sure by the end of the summer, we'll be way ahead of schedule. He said we caught up 5 weeks of work just today. So that's pretty great. Tom isn't sure if he likes the job yet. He wasn't expecting hard labor, or something, he said. It's really not that bad. Eight dollars an hour (I think). It'll be a good summer job.

NP - Refused - The Refused Party Programme

Man, I love Refused. You know who has really good lyrics? Hopesfall. I was just reading a bunch of them last night. I never really read their lyrics before, but they're really good. Check this out:

lies i've deceived myself in this hour of solitude... through the breaking of love and spirit these words were spit from my mouth the bitterness poured from deep within my heart only to stain and harden my skin erasing the compassion... and ripping the joy from inside of me... let me go trying to rid myself of this frame. wash it from my eyes all the sad goodbyes make me feel again leave me here to reconcile these unfinished plans... love broke me trials are in vain i press on not knowing what there is to gain in all that i've failed, i have come to realize Your truth shines through the pain

Also, I really like the Bright Eyes lyrics off of Fevers and Mirrors. I want to buy that cd so badly. I need to get to a cd store quickly. I also want Converge - Petitioning and Empty Sky, and Muse - The Origin of Symmetry. Bright Eyes lyrics:

At the center of the world there is a statue of a girl. She is standing near a well with a bucket bare and dry. I went and looked her in the eyes and she turned me into sand. This clumsy form that I despise scattered easy in her hand. And it came to rest upon a beach, with a million others there. We sat and waited for the sea to stretch out so that we could disappear into the endlessness of blue, into the horror of the truth. We are far less than we knew. Yes, we are far less than we knew but we knew what we could taste. Girls found honey to drench our hands. Men cut marble to mark our graves. Saying that we will need something to remind us of all the sweetness that has passed through us (fresh sangria and lemon tea). The priests dressed children for a choir (white-robed small voices praise Him) but found no joy in what was sung. The funeral had begun in the middle of the day when you drive home to your place from that job that makes you sleep back to the thoughts that keep you awake long after night has come to claim any light that still remains in the corner of the frame that you put around her face. Two pills just weren’t’ enough. The alarm clock is going off but you are not waking up. This isn’t happening. It is.

NP - Odd Project - Je t'Adore.

That one's for you.

NP - Echo and the Bunnymen - Nothing Lasts Forever

"All the shadows and the pain are coming to you."

Coupla songs I wrote.

Paint the World
I think of you and paint a scene. Pastel dreams, pastel scenes. The world seems emptier to me. Without your face, without your taste. The wind, your hair, I remember. Reddened skies, hurtful good-byes. The sand, your toes, remains forever. I can't forget. Dream an easier life, burn your truths to the ground. Lie amongst the flowers, paint the world a different sound. These roads, they're barren, a dreary place. What of you? What was true? Wishing only to see your face. Sky turns black, I turn back. A stream is boasting a brand new idea. Your gentle eyes, your gentle lies. The water flows into your hair. I can't forget.


Our Perfect Romance
Sweet tragedy, the pillars fall. Your lips like wine, my own enthralled. The burning sea casts a furtive glance. The sand burns to glass, your eyes watch it dance. This is our decoy. We hide behind the moon. Your image fades too soon. This is our decoy, too perfect to believe. The last star fades as we leave. Hidden from view, our hopeful glow entwines us in a somnambulant show. Deceiving the sky, two minds become entranced. No one else can see us, in our perfect romance.

Like a Lost Cancer
Shrouded in dust, we steal the night into the future. Grinning at the sky, like cats, we puzzle the nocturnal air. The horizon is a sweet line of light, designed by motion. Destroyed by spite, the moon sinks into the ocean. We became a part of the moment, apart from the romance. Harbored by our senses, we thanked the sky and melted away. The flowing waves, full of deceit, savored and gave their memories to me. Profound and weathered, the water fills my lungs. With lips like an angel, and eyes like a demon, the sweet flavor enraptures my tongue. Downcast, the fire erases the day. The night, like a tyger, encases decay.

Now I've become distant in relations. I lost my job, before it even begun. I don't have a car. I can't see people I would like to. I sit at home, AND CRY.
Or do I? We went to the "recording studio" today, to set up dates. You should do back-up vocals on our cd. It would be most awesome. My thoughts are sporatic. Sometimes, I wish I didn't need to do things. I wish I could just go where I want, and be with the people I care about. But rules apply. And they cannot be broken. But they can be bent. I wish I wasn't such an acquiescent person. I wish I had more of an initiative to do things. And not care about what other people want. But I do. I am too nice. I want to please people all the time. Fear is an instrument of discipline. And that shouldn't be the way it is. I, of all people, should not be held back by it. I don't do bad things. Why must I be tethered?

It's not that I don't understand what people are saying when they are profound in their blogs. It's just that it annoys me. It makes me feel as though they think they are somehow showing that they are better than people. That only those who can, in fact, understand what they are conveying are allowed to know what they are feeling. I can understand that some people may like it this way, to make themselves feel more secure, if subconcsiously, about putting their feelings on display. And maybe I just can't understand this. Because I haven't experienced it. I haven't experienced a harder life than my own. I do not have as many obstacles or problems in my life as other people. I can understand that they'd want security. I just don't fully understand the circumstances as to why.

The above 'graph is not directed to a single one person, as YOU ALL might think.
ALL of you that read my blog.
Which I know is a HUGE number.
Probably bigger than four!
Can you believe it?

NP - NOTHING. It's too late. Or I just don't feel like it.

EDIT: Typos are not my friend.

I hate blogs where people try to sound, or do indeed sound deep or profound. It just bothers me. I don't hate the people. Just the blogs.
Man.... sometime I should write like that in my blogs. So no one really knows what I'm talking about.

Man. There's nothing to do tonight.
Everybody's going to that damn prom. Almost makes me wish I went. Almost.
And then everyone else is going to the Metalfest. I wish I was there actually. Converge, Atreyu, The Acacia Strain, Beyond the Embrace, Himsa.... all on the same stage. Or two. I wish I had money.
Now EVERYBODY is gone. Nothing to do. Maybe I'll call some people. Maybe. I want to see The Matrix II. Too bad I dont have a vehemicle.
NOTHING TO DO.
I think I'm in love.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

I ONLY GOT A FUCKING 2/5 RATING ON Ryan's Blog Rating Site [tm]?!?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?!?!

HE DOESN'T "GET" MY BLOG!?!?

DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR THAT FUCKING MORON!?

B.... L..... O.... G!!!!

JESUS CHRIST, WHAT A GREAT FRIEND!!

SERIOUSLY.

He's the best.

Look at me.... I think I am Ryan

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Fucking Steve didn't pick me up and I missed the fucking Neverpuffins.

GODDAMMIT!

Here is the "funny story" of how I got my name
This is how my father gave me the name of 'Lensey,' which nobody else in the world has.   For thousands of years, the Chinese used a system of writing based on pictographs, symbols that look like the objects they represent.  Gradually, the symbols became simplified, so they no longer looked very much like the thing they represent.  It became hard for people to understand the symbols.
Nor was the writing phonetic, that is, you can't tell how those symbols are pronounced by looking at them.  (English writing and others using an alphabet are phonetic.)  That was why there were so few people who could read in China.
In the 20th century, the Chinese government decided to make up a system of writing that would make it easier for people to learn.  My father was on the committee working on this project. The first thing was to make the system phonetic, so that you could tell how something sounded by looking at the symbols.  One way to do it is by Romanization, that is, using the letters of the Roman alphabet (the one used in English) to spell Chinese sounds.  My father and his co-workers found problems with this.  For instance, Chinese is tonal, unlike English and most European languages (a language is tonal if the meaning is changed when you change the tones, or melody).   My father decided to change the spelling slightly to convey tones.
For example, the first syllable of my name is pronounced like "len,"
but there are 4 possible tones, and to differentiate the four tones, they are spelled "lhen," "len," "leen," and "lenn."
My father discovered to his delight that he could spell not only all Chinese words with this system, but he could even spell words that didn't exist in Chinese.  To celebrate this, he decided to give his newborn baby a name that could be spelled in the system and sounded sort of Chinese, but didn't really exist.
That was how I wound up with a name that looks plausible, but which makes every Chinese say, "Huh?  It also guarantees that nobody else in the world has (or would want) a name like mine.

NOIRÈD

Black eyes and broken smiles linger in the air. Pristine shadows call. I cannot prevent this. Seclusion is the only voice that hears my piteous pleas. I cannot prevent this. A single rose was offered. A single rose bled three tears. A single rose turned to dust and painted my heart grey. I disappear. Caught in the sand, I burn it to glass. My hands are splintered. You did not intend this. The splinters and shards pierce fast, and I die each time. You did not intend this. These black thorns pierce my hands, raw and bleeding now. The deceitful red aches of passion, but burns of sorrow. You created this; you created me. Will you destroy me?

Whine Whine Whine
Bitch Bitch Bitch
I hate stuff.
Cry Cry Cry.
I hope my parents dont read this.
Cry. Moan. Groan.
LOAN.
JOAN.
etc.

Guess who is my new best friend?

That's right Ian! ... it's Ryan Faillace.
And not just because he linked to me in his blog link section.
No no no... it's because he understands me.

Trust me, if I had a links section in my blog... he'd probably have a link.
Like this one: Flyin' Ryan Faillace

Nobody likes poor old (read: not old) Adam's blog.

Except Josh.

You know how I know? Because nobody links to my blog. Except Josh.
But then again, Josh links to everyone's blog.

STROMBARD SUCKS

I hate Ry-ry.

dude!
I'm going to review Sing the Sorrow for you all!
Because I'm bored.

Miseria Cantare - The Beginning
Yeah, well, thats the intro. It's pretty cool.
Rating: Pretty Cool

The Leaving Song Pt. II
"Imperfect cry and scream in ecstasy, so what deflaws the flawless?" And there's some Spanish. Man, when I first heard the song, I though that it was Latin. Latin would have been so much more cool. "I left them all to die." And then he goes AHHHHHHH a bunch. Then the cool part comes when they go back into the chorus. It's like hes "falling" into the chorus.
Rating: very good

Bleed Black
Starts off with some breathing. And then the intro comes in. John loves that intro. John loves the song. This is probably my least favorite song on the album. Although, I must admit, it has some of the best lyrics on the album. "As morphine cuts through deadened veins, I'm numbing in these days." That's a fucking great line. The breakdown comes. And that's pretty cool. It's not the best. Fall Children has a better breakdown.
Rating: not bad

Silver and Cold
Some piano. The song reminds me of a slow dance song at the prom. Albeit, the prom would be for FUCKING DEAD PEOPLE!!! Like zombies or something. "As a rapturous voice escapes I will tremble a prayer, and I'll beg for forgivness." I dunno. Reminds me of sex and religion. Like those Catholic preist scandals they had. Maybe Davey was molested by a preist once. Probably not. I like Jade's back-up's in the breakdown. But once again, the breakdown isn't all that great. Still reminds me of a zombie prom. They'd all be prom-bies.
Rating: ZOMBIE PROM

Dancing Through Sunday
The guitar riff is fucking awesome. I love it. But the name of the song reminds me off the following: Taking Back Sunday. I don't like that band. But I like this song. It's pretty short. The first time I heard the chorus I thought it was awesome. Sounds like Davey is saying "I'm an asshole," though. FUCKING AWESOME BREAKDOWN. METAL TIME!! SOLO-GALORE! JADEXCORE! and then they finish the song. (dude, I think Davey gets punched in the stomach before the solo.
Rating: Man, when they sing the chorus, you can hear all sorts of harmonies, it's great.

Girl's Not Grey
The single. I actually like this song. Quite a bit. It's catchy. More catchy than the last song. It's got some awesome lyrics. I love the chorus. A lot. "What follows me as the whitest lace of light just begs to be imbrued?" Well, Davey, I don't know. In the first part of the breakdown, before the quiet part, they do that thing that I love right after "much further down" is sung. Duka-duda...DUNK. The quiet part in the breakdown is awesome, too. And then Davey hits some awesome harmonies at the end. It's an all around good song.
Rating: Good song.

Death of Seasons
FUCKING AWESOME SONG.
FUCKING AWESOME SONG.
Rating: FUCKING AWESONG SOME.

The Great Disappointment
More like, NOT The Great Disappointment. I love the verses in this one. The chorus.... eh I dunno. It's not too awesome. They do cool time signature changes though. Ooooo!! I LOVE the intro. I really wonder if they could play the intro live. "I can remember... searched for the amaranth." "Oh I would smile then, waiting so patiently." Breakdown is okay.
Rating: 3/5

Paper Airplanes (makeshift wings)
Without a doubt this is my favorite song on the album. I love it. "These waves of plastic fame go out of fashion and I smile because you're dying to become forever unknown." That line conundrums me. I can hear all of it, except for "and I smile because." I don't think anyone actually ever says that in the song, its just in the lyrics. You, know. For the helluvit. In my opinion, this should have been the first song on the CD, right after the intro. No pause between the two. I set it up like that in calkwalk, and DAMN, it's awesome. That would have been a killer way to begin the album. This song is killer. Words that describe this song: awesome, killer, rockin like Dokken, Sweet, the best song on the album IMO. HA! I said IMO. I've never used that before. EVER. ANYWHERE. BEST SONG ON CD.
Rating: AWEXOME

This Celluloid Dream
"You lanterns light the afternoon snow." That's how I thought the chorus to this song went. I thought it would have been pretty cool if they went like that. But they don't. "Whoever came up with the latern stuff is a fucking retard," they said. Yeah, I'm a retard. That's why this song makes me so depressed. Whenever I hear it, I always think of what that one kid said. Not really, though. I really really like this song. I still hear that in the chorus, though. "ALL GREY!!!!" Cool breakdown. Then Davey goes all India-style on us with that last "Grey." I like the bouncy rhythm of the song.
Rating: Bouncy.

The Leaving Song
This song should come BEFORE The Leaving Song Pt. II. That would make sense.... and it sounds cool if you do it so that as pt. I fades out pt. 2 is fading in. It takes to long to fade in by itself. Good song though. "Turned away in disgrace, felt the chill upon my face cooling from within." Oh, and all the parts that mention "the cracks" are awesome. This song is almost sad, but it doesn't reach that emotional stirrance within my soul. There is one song on the CD that does however. But, I'll talk about that song when I get to It.
Rating: Pretty

...But Home is Nowhere
This is one of my favorite songs on the CD as well. It's got that classic AFI feel to it, but with the fucking new AFI feeling also. "Discarnate. Preternatural. My prayers to disappear ungranted in dead time left me disowned, absent of grace, marked as infernal." <--Chorus is great. Verses are GREAT. SONG IS GREAT.. AWESOME BREAKDOWN. Then the choir and bells come in in the last CHORUS. My only gripe is that the rise into the last chorus could have sounded so much more powerful. It starts to rise, but it doesn't really get there, and then the chorus comes in, with all the cool stuff, but it just doesn't sound as huge as it is, because it is missing the huge build.
Rating: Scuking Awesome

Synesthesia
Okay, so it's not actually on my CD. I downloaded it. But it's on the Europe version. And it IS THE BEST AFI SONG EVER. MY FAVORITE AFI SONG EVER. It is everything that AFI should be. Fast drums by Adam, great backups, catchy, awesome huge breakdown, awesome basswork by Hunter. It embodies all of these things. I see why they didn't put it on STS. It doesn't have the right sound. It has the 336 sound. Those were some good songs. This song is better. Better than any AFI song in the history of the world.
Rating: BEST SONG IN THE WORLD.

Now the World
This song is pretty much the same as the 336 version, except the chorus doesn't sound as huge, and Davey cuts off some words in order to take some breaths towards the end. But, I still like it a lot.
Rating: 336

poem
Why do they call it a poem? It's not a poem. Why did I call it a poem? Peer pressure. It's more like prose, a story if you will. Very beautiful words. I wish the voices were louder.
"We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves."
"The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress."
"You said, "the cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence."
Rating: Quietly Beautiful

This Time Imperfect
This is the song I was talking about in the Leaving Song section. This is the most beautiful song I have ever heard. It brings tears to my eyes. No kidding. Not only the first time I heard it, but also many times after that. I told Becky to download it, and she did, and she said it almost made her cry, too. Now, I think, she is going to buy the album. That will be so cool. I told her it would be her favorite album ever. It is definately my favorite ablum, at the current time. This song... this song is a masterpiece.
Rating: AFI's Masterpiece.

Dammit. I just entered a really good entry into this here "blahg" but apparently there was a type mismatch of some sort (session) and all data was lost.
Now You're going to get some crappy entry, because I am all mad and don't feel like taking the time to type all of this crap out.
John wants me to make him a cd. So I might.














False.

Damn. I got the new AFI cd today.
I am happy.
It is the silver/black version, the rare one.
However, they wouldn't let me order the DVD.
So, I'll have to do that online.


Of late it's harder just to go outside, to leave all this deadspace with hatred so alive. Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay. Killed by the weakness, but forced to return. Turn it off. I watch the stars as the fall from the sky. I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying. I feel the fallen stars encircle me now, as they cry. Out there so quickly grows malignant tribes. Posthuman extinction extinction excels unrecognized. Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay. All of this hatred is fucking real. Turn it on. It won't be all right, despite what they say. Just watch the stars tonight as they disappear, disintegrate. And I disintegrate 'cause this hate is fucking real. And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate.

I feel as though my eyes have been wrenched from their sockets, and all that remains is the tears that once fell from them so freely. Consumed with grief, I recoil into the darkness where I once hid, but now it seems no different than the light... nothing distinguishes one from the other. I scream to the sky. I scream for the fire which burns within my mind, within my soul, within the very essence that comprises me, that comprises my world. I fall... and as the sky flashes past me, I notice the way the birds flutter their wings, the way the trees sway with the breeze, the way the starlight glints off the water below. The light that surrounds me as I fall strengthens my sight. I realize the truth, and my fall becomes flight. Without wings, I ascend higher and higher, the air passing through my thoughts like water through a stream. Enlightened, the stars greet me with warm resplendency. I reach for them, but they are gone, and in their place there is nothing. I see nothing, I feel nothing. Has the sky abandoned me, or have my eyes betrayed me? Consumed with grief, I recoil into the darkness where I once hid, but now it seems no different than the light... nothing distinguishes one from the other.

The following is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.


We held hands on the last night of earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons lay, and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner." The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop. The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two. I rode alone. You said, "The cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city. The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward, and somwhere in the middle in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a message.

Yesterday was Foreboding.
Today.... not as Foreboding.
Tomorrow? Who knows?

So, this next post could possible be the longest post I have ever posted. But don't be too sure.

I was surfing the net late last night
When my eyes beheld a beautiful site
And since I can't remember what the rest of the fucking words to the fucking song are, I'll just fucking tell you the fucking story.

So, I found this site: THORAX CORPORATION INC.,,
I like this site. It makes me grow. I felt it change me.
I took this site. I led it slow. Now it consumes me.
It's a really funny good fun site, made by the creators of Homestarrunner.com (this link is for you, Josh, if you are reading this, wherever you are... rest in peace)
I always liked The Homestar Runner. A couple of people I know like him and his website and his friends, too. They are: Ryan Faillace, Becky Anderson, Brian Robson, maybe Justin "The 'Tude" LaRoche, the members of the band AFI, and many of their fans. I know I am fan, and I like the website, but I knew of it before I knew at it.

You should check out my band's website at http://thechaoticgreentheory.8m.com. That's my band alright. After all, I am in it, so I would know. We are called, for lack of a better name, The Chaotic Green Theory. Nick Bilotta has never heard us. I don't know if he really wants to, or if he just acts like it. If he reads my blog (which would be awe-fucking-some), then he might be snickering to himself when he reads that last statement; or he could be doing the exact opposite: swearing.

Dude! We got strobelights, and we ordered a Jolly Roger to hang behind Justin's drums when we play shows. Now you'll have to see us, for lack of something more awesome to do. When we play shows, we are the most awesome thing around. More awesome than eating at Bickford's, more awesome than driving to Worcester, and even more awesome than Sir Awesome Himself, Daniel Boon. We'll maybe not that.... that's going a little too far. Daniel Boon, my hat's off to you!

Tomorrow is Tuesday. I mean "Tomorrow is Friday." My school bus is going.... ahem... my French Class is going on a trip to the Boston Museam of Fine Arts to sample some of their fine cuisine. Cuisine, of course, being artwork. I don't like looking at artwork. It doesn't do anything. It just sits there. Or hangs there, whatever may be the case. BOOORING.

And I leave you with a song:


For now I'll just push my feelings aside
Not to worry it'll be alright
Now I'll just rest from the world that is here and what it has for me
I know what you want, I know what you need, but I can't give it
You walked away
Now turn and look at me
That's okay, I said it, I'll say it again
You want it right now
Its alright, I know everything's okay while you're here with me
Yes, I know it
So answer me right now
I'm so sorry
We'll find our own way out
So take my hand
Decide our own way
Just you and me now
Falling inside this time
You want it right now
Don't walk away
I'm here today


GUESS THE SONG!!!!

So, I went to a show tonight. It was great. The first band was okay, but when AFI came on stage it was like a dream. I thought it was weird for them to be playing at the local Y, but it was awesome. They played about 14 songs, including "Death of Seasons" and "The Leaving Song Pt. II" (of the new cd Sing the Sorrow in stores March 11th). I got kicked in the eye by a kid trying to crowd-surf, but it was okay. There wasn't a stage, so why would anybody be trying to crowd-surf? It's a YMCA... ...Anyways, I talked to the whole band after the show, and got their autographs.

NOT!

I had you goin' there for a minute, didn't I? No? Well, you said it not me.
I really went to the YMCA to Another Tragic Ending's cd release show. Knuckledown opened for them. We arrived halfway through their set. Steve couldn't get in, because he was too old, so he got wicked mad, and he was punching the fuckers in the fucking face. Knuckledown sounded pretty good, especially with Ryan using my head. But the last song didn't sound too great, with only Chad playing the guitars. All of them. It was crazy.

So then, after they were done there was like a 15 minute break while Knuckledown un-set-up, and ATE set-up. I talked to some people, met some new people, and even ran into a kid I knew from Elementary School.

Then ATE started. They are really fun to watch live. They write their songs extremely well, I probably couldn't write half the stuff they do, and Sam is an amazing drummer. I'd love to see him drum in a hardcore band, it would be cool. They had so much energy. I really wanted to buy one of their cds, though, because I've been anticipating it forever. But I don't have 8 bucks. I only have 4, because I had to pay four to get into the show. So, there I was, darkness surrounding me, breathing in the cool sweat of the small room, and I couldn't buy a cd. Maybe I can strike a deal with the band, and get one anyways.

However, ATE isn't really my type of music, but they are great live.

I became the light that shone in your eyes
A twist of fate, and now I'm bleeding on my own
Exonerate your sins and resurrect my soul
The sky is dark, no stars shine on my tattered heart

You stain my heart and you leave it scarred when you destroy me from the inside
Resurrect my soul. I can feel you losing your hold.

Four guys walk into a bar: a drunk, a pilot, a jewel theif, and a violinist. The bartender asks them what they want. The drunk says "Nothing, I'm already drunk." The pilot says "Nothing, I have to fly a plane in an hour. The jewel theif says "Nothing, I am just waiting here for my partner." The violinist says "Nothing, I don't drink, I play." Flustered, the bartender asks "Why did you all come in here then?" They all reply "Because it sure seemed like a good way to start the joke!"

O, How the heavens run dry.

It was last night that it all went down. We weren't supposed to be at the beach, but Josh, Carlton, and I were there anyways. We started a big bonfire, and the cops came. We explained to them that it wasn't us who started the bonfire, but they took us down to the station anyways. I hate cops. Anyways, I had to call my mom, and tell her where I was, and she told the cops that there was no way I could have done it, so I was all, thanks mom, and she brought me home. I think Carlton got out of it too somehow, but Josh knew the cop from before, and he has some deal with his bakery and free "donuts," so he got out of it too. But when I got home, my mom yelled at me for like 2 hours, and basically I got grounded. So, life sucks.

In other news, we got a new computer. It's really cool. I ordered it custom, so it has all the latest technology. AND a flat screen monitor. What what?! Hell, yeah.

Um.... the newest Strong Bad email was about drilling oil in Iraq, and Strong Bad made fun of Oil, saying stuff like "oil is the best thing to come out of Iraq? More like the only thing!" and "oil is total crap!" It was hilarious. Probably my favorite Strong Bad email yet. Maybe "Website" beats it. I dunno.

Oh! Sunday night was movie night, so I rented Scooby Doo. That movie sucked more than a moon at high tide. If you know what I mean....

SO I WAS AT TEH GYM 2DAY AND THIS GIRL WOKS UP 2 ME RIGHT?!?!??!? WTF SO I LOK AT HAR AND SH3 SAYS UR SHOES UNTEID1!111!!! OMG WTF I LOKED DOWN AND IT WASNT SO I LOK3D BAK UP AND SH3 SMAKS M3 RIGHT ACROS DA FAEC AND CALS M3 A FUKNG DOUCHEBAG FOR WUT I DID 2 JENY COLINS!111! OMG LOL HOW WAS I SUPOSED 2 KNOW TAHT JENY WAS AL3RGIC 2 SAAFOD?!!?!??! WTF LOL I DIDNT M3AN 2 G3T HER SIK AND SEND HER HOME11!111 WTF LOL I THOUGHT SHA LIEKD MA11!!! OMG WTF SO ANYWAYS I Y3L3D AT TAHT GIRL TAHT IT WAS AN ACIEDNT B/C I DIDNT KNOW AND SHE JUST TURN3D AROUND AND WOK3D AWAY!1!!! LOL WFT11!!1!11 WTF LOL GIRLS R SO STUPID11!1 OMG

Dreams come in two sizes. Big and extremely big. I was the fortunate recipient of the latter category last night.

It began rather drearily: a cardboard house, a pet mouse, and random scrap of paper living as my neighbor - nothing out of the ordinary... for a dream, of course. Then it got weird. The house, mouse and the paper formed a new object, an object of immense girth, and tremendous suspense, that the only way to avoid its presence was to create a monster to block it from view. This I did, and I was rewarded by being transported to a realm of fantasy, where aliens floated on water, rabbits didn't exist, and flowers bloomed thrice on the hour every hour. In this fantastic place, I wandered through trees, around lakes, and under clouds until my feet were nothing but shriveled up piles of hope. A car would appear every so often, and I'd climb into it, never looking where I was going, always looking into the future. A breeze lifted the car into the northern regions of Canada, and I learned some French. In no less than a second, the time had passed, and the past was history. Abruptly the flowers melted, the islands exploded, and the rain was released from the depths of the earth, flooding all the banks with extra money. A pound of ten dollar bills was equal to about 16 ounces of another, and that was fine with me. I was the master of desire. I desired nothing, yet everyone desired what I desired. I gave them nothing, and they were angry. The wind whispered in my ear, and I had to swat it away with nothing but my soul. The grey mist of the December morning had settled onto its bed, and was fast asleep by noon. At a quarter to one, I cut one into quarters, and divided them equally into the distance. Soon, I could no longer see their red heads, and I felt asleep, yet I didn't fall asleep, for I was already asleep.

And then I woke up. What a weird dream, huh?